Behavioral Stages

Stage One: DENIAL. Many students are initially angry or upset because of being enrolled in a program. Denial is usually classified with comments like:

• "I don't need to be here."
• "If you let me come home I will change."
• "I understand what you want from me now and I am different."
• "I haven't done anything wrong."
• "My friends are worse than I am."
• "If you leave me here..."
• " I will kill myself,"
• "I will hate you forever,"
• "I won't ever speak to you again,"
• "Don't waste your money because I will never change."

A student will also make comments regarding the facility during this stage, such as:

• "This place is awful, if you only knew what went on here."
• "The food is gross, or they don't feed me."
• "There are bugs, rodents, etc. everywhere here."
• "They are so mean to me here."
• "You have got to get me out of here before I go crazy."
• "All the girls here are a lot worse than I am," or "I am not like the other girls here, they have..."
• "The other girls here are all lesbians."

Stage Two: ACCEPTANCE. Acceptance is the stage where they are beginning to see the need for a change in their life. Although they would still rather be at home they are starting to make changes. Comments you will receive during this stage are:

• "This place is getting better."
• "Some of the staff likes me."
• "The girls are really nice and I have some new friends."
• "I have learned everything I need to and I am ready to come home."

Stage Three: CHANGING. Changing is the stage where the student is truly learning and making choices that are promoting healthy experiences. She is beginning to make choices because she truly wants her life to be better.

• "I did the most exciting thing this week."
• "My grades are getting better."
• "I learned so much about myself because..."
• "I can hardly wait to show you some of the places we have been around here."
• "The girls here are the best friends I have ever had in my life. They are so honest with me."

Stage Four: PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE. This occurs when the student is really committed to herself and the future. She is focused on making proactive decisions and choices. The choices she makes are because she wants to have a wonderful future. Typical comments for this stage are:

• "I love who I am."
• "I have chosen the college/university I want to attend after high school and this is what I need to do to get accepted there..."
• "This is my plan for the future."
• "I need you to set structure for me when I come home."
• "I have truly benefited from my experience at Copper Canyon and this is what the future holds for me..."
• "Thank you for giving me the chance to change my life."